As a New York City fashion model for over 50 years, I have survived this chaos and learned how to recognize a predator. I want to teach you a few of the signs I have learned along the way. Believe me, I am quite qualified to talk to you about recognizing the signs of a predator. 

As a model, I did appear in many print advertisements and in magazines—even on the cover—but my main occupation was being a live coat-hanger. I was hired to work behind the scenes with patternmakers and the designers of those beautiful clothes that you see models wearing on the runway, including Diane Furstenberg, Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren. 

Live coat-hangers, as they call us in the industry, are actually paid to stand still and move naturally as the designers pin and drape the latest fashions to fit our bodies. It’s exciting and glamorous—although between us, we sometimes blend into the background as designers and photographers and models whirl around us. Standing in the background for hours at a time, I became the perfect witness to catching the tells and behaviors of predators like Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, and so many others. 

In addition to witnessing predatory behavior, I’ve also been the victim of a violent rape and abuse at the hands of men who said they loved me. After my rape, I set out on a journey to discover the self I never knew-and heal the pain of an abusive childhood that had fashioned me into the model so many men pinned their dreams and designs upon. Now that I’m an elder in this industry, a recently retired size-8 live coat-hanger,  I’ve dedicated my life to sharing my story so that what happened to me doesn’t happen to others. Just as lovely, young ingenues are drawn to the modeling industry, so are sexual predators. 

Please know that these signs that your interviewer may be a sexual predator are not just applicable to the fashion industry. Sexual predators can hide in every single industry under the sun and you’ll be able to spot them and react quickly if you keep these tips in mind and prepare yourself for the possibility that the person sitting across from you could want to give you more than the job you’re interviewing for. 

Remember, the best offense is a good defense, so take time before your interview to ask your social network about your interview and your new potential company and boss. Ask:

• Is there any sexual harassment history that I should know about before my interview?
• Has anyone reported this interviewer for inappropriate behavior?
• What is the network and the atmosphere like in the workplace?

Take note, share with your friends, with your children, and anyone in your life who dreams of “making it big” in an industry where powerful people could hold the key to their success.

1. 1. Watch their body language. Predators use their body language to communicate their power over you. Think of yourself standing in front of the door of your first interview. You knock on the door and you hear his voice telling you to come in. The predator gets up to shake your hand, but instead of going back to sit down behind a desk, he sits down beside you, or stands over you. Trust your instinct. If you feel someone is trying to use body language to convey power over you, you are probably right. Find a way to communicate your own power and boundaries by standing, finding a different chair, or asking for the door to be left open during your interview. 
   2. Listen for an off-color sense of humor. Telling a racy joke could be a test. The predator is trying to see if you are comfortable with something that’s inappropriate. If he sees that you are uncomfortable, he will tell you that you misunderstood—he was only joking and don’t be so sensitive. Today, we call this gas lighting, though it’s a relatively new term in the public sphere. Practice firmly saying, “That’s not my sense of humor, and it’s a little offensive. Let’s stick to the job talk.”
   3. Don’t accept drinks. He might even offer you something to drink to get you to relax. Unless it’s a closed bottle of water or a simple cup of coffee, just say “no thank you.” Drinking on the job can inhibit your judgment and reaction time. If you’re worried about being polite, you can almost always make a polite excuse for not accepting a drink—you’re allergic, your stomach has been bothering you, you’re on a special diet. If you feel you need to make a polite excuse, practice one and have it ready.
   4. Don’t answer overly personal or inappropriate questions. Another question I always find interesting is a predator may ask you if you live alone or with your parents. Remember, predators gravitate towards vulnerable people and take advantage of situations. In my experience, they’ve zeroed in on young girls who don’t have a Dad in their home. They know young girls lacking a strong male figure are confused, and usually looking for the approval from the men who come into their lives. The predator will use this to his advantage. The predator does not understand, or does not care, that young girls are only looking for approval, not a sexual relationship. 
   5. Create a boundary with unwanted touching. Predators can even invade your space by telling you that you look a little nervous and offer to give you a “shoulder rub”— or worse, give you one without asking your permission. Practice saying, “I don’t want to be touched in this interview,” or “please don’t put your hands on me,” until it comes out confident and strong.
   6. Don’t go to after-hours or unscheduled meetings. A predator often tells you that he’s running out of time for your scheduled meeting, but kindly offers to meet you the next day to discuss your qualifications. The only problem is, he has to get ready for some big event, and would you mind meeting him in his home while he’s getting dressed? Having a personal set of predefined rules of where and when you will and won’t meet, can help you. Remind the predator of your qualifications and potential. He may act like he’s doing you a favor, but it’s not worth getting into a situation you can’t easily get out of. If you do go to a meeting in someone’s home, stay in public areas of the house (don’t go to the bedroom) and bring Mace. It sounds like overkill, but it’s better to be prepared. 

Believe me, all of this happens a lot more than you think in the modeling industry and in the rest of the working world. Keep asking yourself if there’s anything between you and this new potential boss that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your gut feeling tells you yes, Believe It. 

Leave the interview or turn down the job. It is not worth it to put yourself in a situation where you’ll be the prey—you will find other opportunities that are not toxic. 

Remember the warning signs of a predator should not discourage you as you pursue your professional dreams or your personal relationships. There are a lot of good men out there and you will find them on your road to success. 

I have included a Resources Page which provides details on where you can seek professional help.

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